America the Fallen
by Sadist the Boy
Summary: Alfred's thoughts have been getting to him and he's beginning to feel really down. When he shows up to a world meeting really depressed, Lovino begins to worry. In a desperate attempt to cheer up his friend, Lovino tries to figure out what's wrong. Can he save the great America from falling into a deep whole of suicidal anxiety or will he just make everything worst? *Read Car Radio
1. Chapter One - Suffocation

**Chapter One – Suffocating.**

Do you ever just sit around and listen to music? Like, not in the mornings on the way to school, because you have nothing better to do, or your favorite singer put up a new video. I mean actually sit down and listen to the lyrics. Just letting the music flow through you as your thoughts dance along to the rhythm. And then there's that one lyric that just sends you into an endless spiral of thinking because it strongly reminds you of yourself. If you've done this or you've experienced this, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

It was just one lyric. One and all of a sudden, I couldn't hear the song anymore. The rest of the lyrics didn't matter. That one line stood out like Justin Bieber on BET. I was listening to _There is a Light That Never Goes Out_ by The Smiths. It's a great song and I've listened to it several times before. But today was one of those days where I just stared up at my bedroom ceiling and let the lyrics take me away from the harsh reality happening outside of my house. I needed something to distract me from the anxiety I began to feel from the upcoming World Meeting. Anyway, my mouth began to sync the words when all of a sudden,

" _Because it's not my home. It's their home, and I'm not welcome no more."_

I couldn't stop the tears from slipping out of my eyes. Suddenly, the song sounded far away. One simple lyric and it spoke so much to me. Being a member of the 'FACE Family' wasn't as hard as one might've thought. I honestly wouldn't consider them my family. You see, I can tell when I'm unwanted and trust me, they probably wish I'd fall off of the map. Arthur still hates me for the Revolutionary War, Francis thinks I'm some sort of idiotic whale, and Matthew just thinks I'm a narcissist. They've never tried to understand me. I've tried to live up to their standards but one could only do so much. Soon enough, I just stopped attending whatever 'family outing' they've invited me on. I'm pretty sure they got the message because they've stopped trying to get me to come over for the holidays. Now I understand how that sounds, why wouldn't I go visit for the Holidays? Surely, they must be happy times, right? Wrong. Every time we all get together, no matter the occasion, the just insult me and pick out my flaws. I guess they figure that I'm just some idiot without feelings.

Anyway, I normally don't get to emotional about my 'family.' I usually just brush them off but I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been feeling pretty down ever since my car radio got stolen last month. I replaced it, of course, but still. Soon, my pitiful tears turned into silently sobbing into my pillow. I didn't exactly know what I was crying for. I do know, however, that it wasn't just my family that was making me feel down. It's like everything that I've ever held back just came crashing down me at once and that's not a good feeling. I felt as if I was suffocating. I wanted someone to come reassure me but who would care about me? I'm the stupid, fat, and ugly United States of America. Everyone hates me. With that in mind, my sobs got louder and I continued to feel suffocated as The Smiths played on loop in the background.


	2. Chapter Two - Meeting

**Author's Note – I tried to make this chapter longer and still make sense. There'll be some dialogue as well.**

* * *

 **Chapter Two – Meeting.**

Today was the meeting day. I was not looking forward to it. I wish I could skip it but sadly, I can't. I am the host of this month's meetings. Yeah, it sucks. I was dressed in my normal military uniform. My signature bomber jacket was locked away in my closet. I didn't feel like wearing in today. After last week's episode, I've been feeling really depressed and sort of down. My life has been playing back through my head since then and I realized just how sad it is. I've lost the love of my life twice, my family wishes I was dead, the entire world hates me except for one country—hell, even my citizens hate me! My vision began to blur and I gripped the steering wheel—no. I shouldn't be thinking like this and driving. I took a deep breath and turned up the radio loud so that I couldn't hear my own thoughts. I rolled up my windows so that I wouldn't bother people too much. I let the voice of Brendon Urie take over my thoughts as I continued to drive to the meeting place.

Finally, after ten minutes of drowning out my thoughts with Panic! At the Disco, I arrived at the meeting place. I stepped out of my blue Shelby Mustang and locked the doors. I slowly made my way to the entrance. I was already late so I didn't see the point in rushing. I was going to get chewed out anyways. Even when I'm early, I get chewed out. When I arrive early, I get yelled at for being a "patriotic show off" and when I'm late, I get yelled for being a "lazy nitwit." I can never win with these people. I sighed again as I reached the meeting room. It wasn't all that far from the entrance. I pushed the door open and was greeted with absolute chaos. Countries were arguing with eachother like crazy. And then call me immature. As I walked over to my seat, I noticed that Sealand was there. England must've let him come to this meeting.

"Oh, look who finally decided to show up!" I heard an angry Brit shout behind me. I turned around to see him and France choking eachother. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and make a snarky comment. I decided to keep my mouth shut. I knew what he was doing. He was just trying to provoke me. He wanted me to angry and shout at him. He wanted to pull me into this chaos of a meeting. Deciding that it's best to just stay quiet, I looked around the room for a seat. Thankfully, I found one next to the Nordics. They didn't like me but, they didn't hate me either. In fact, they never even talk to me whenever I sit near them. I tried to look for another seat, hoping that there would be one next to Lovino but there was no luck. Sighing, I took a seat next to Russia.

"Oh good," Germany started. "America is finally here. We can start the meeting," he said. "Now, we are here today to talk about the economy. Would anyone like to go first with their presentation?" he asked. I took my laptop out and placed on top of the table. I then opened a word document, ready to take notes. As I did this, I felt like I was being watched. I looked up and notice everyone watching me. "America, wouldn't you like to go first?" he asked. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"There are over 190 nations in this room. I don't need to present first every fucking time we have a meeting," I grumbled, just loud enough for myself to here. Well, I think Norway might have heard me but if he did, he didn't show it. I put a false smile on my face and looked back at the German. "No! I think I'm just gonna take notes for today! You know, the hero needs a rest from time to time! AHAHA!" I laughed loudly. Germany grumbled under his breath as England volunteered go first, insulting me in the process.

"Hero-obsessed Idiot," he shot at me. I just smiled at him like an idiot before turning to my laptop. The smile left my face and I clenched my fist.

"Dumbass, heroes don't exist," Cuba sneered at me. Oh, I forgot he was next to me.

"Don't even try, Cuba, you know he's dense as hell," laughed England, who was supposed to be presenting.

"He's stupid, da?" Russia smiled. I started sliding down my chair, embarrassed. I saw Lovino glance at me, worried. I smiled at him weakly.

"He doesn't even understand we're insulting him, aru!" China shouted. Before, anyone could insult me further, I spoke up.

"This is a meeting, we're supposed to be talking about the economy," I mumbled.

"You want to talk about the economy? How about the fact that you owe me money, aru!" China yelled at me. "I swear, you have no respect for your elders!" I stood up and quickly walked out of the room. I went to the bathroom. I locked the door and slid to the floor.

I shouldn't have come to the meeting. I should've just stayed home and asked for the notes from Lovino. I hugged my legs to my body as I listened. I could still hear their loud insults. It was like they were cutting my skin, painful.

' _Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.'_

What complete bullshit.

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 **A/N: So it's not the best but, I tried. I think I might do the next chapter in Romano's point of view. Um. This is the full summary btw:**

 _ **Summary: Alfred's thoughts have been getting to him and he's beginning to feel really down. When he shows up to a world meeting really depressed, Lovino begins to worry. In a desperate attempt to cheer up his friend, Lovino tries to figure out what's wrong. Can he save the great America from falling into a deep whole of suicidal anxiety or will he just make everything worst? (This is a continuation of my one-shot 'Car Radio.' Please read that first. Also, I got this idea from Perks of Being a Wallflower. Good book, go read it.)**_

 **I forgot to add this to the first chapter. It didn't fit in summary box so I had to shorten it.**


	3. Chapter Three - Friends

**A/N: This chapter is in Lovino-baby's point of view. Please enjoy.**

 **Chapter – Friends.**

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I watched as Alfred quickly exited the room, what seemed to be a smile on his face. I knew better though. I knew he was just clenching his teeth to keep from crying. I noticed how his hands were balled up into a fist. I couldn't stop myself from looking worried. I frowned and took my phone out. I wanted to make sure he was okay. I knew how upset he was. I knew how much their words affected him, especially England's. England was the one that raised him, so he always felt like he had to prove himself to him. I understood him all too well. But I'm getting better. He helped me get better so I have to help him too, you know? I decided to text him.

 **To: Bestie :))  
09:38  
** _ **Are you okay? Are you coming back to the meeting?**_

I waited a moment before receiving a text.

 **From: Bestie :))  
09:38  
** _ **Nah i dont think so. Can u take notes for me and maybe come over later?**_

I sighed, they must've really gotten to him. I texted back a quick 'yes' before taking out my laptop. I decided that I should start paying attention to the presentation that stupid Tea Bastard was giving.

...

Finally, the meeting had ended. Knowing Al, he probably went to the bathroom and then went home after I texted him. I decided that I'd take my car there. Veneziano went to the meeting with Germany and Spain went with that stupid Frenchman. Good riddance to both of them. Don't get me wrong, I love Veneziano; he's my brother. I just have a hard time accepting him as family. When we were younger, he was favored over me. Even Spain, who everyone seems to think I'm dating, favored him over me. They still do. Plus, it's not like the feelings aren't mutual. Veneziano cares more about that German bastard than me. The only one who actually cares for me was Alfred. He helped get rid of all that hatred in my heart by being my friend. As we got closer, I got to know him more too. He knows more than anyone how I feel.

I sigh as I make a turn at the light. The radio was playing some stupid song about either drugs or money. I couldn't even tell what they were saying. I just turned off the radio. Silence filled the car and there was a small ringing in my ears. You know when it's too quiet and your ears start ringing a bit? That's what it was like. I hated that sound. The sound of silence. You know, it's pretty ironic. Silence means that there is absolutely no sound whatsoever, but it has its own sound. An annoying ringing sound, as if it was mocking you. Unable to endure it, I attached my iPhone to the auxiliary cord and began to Gorillaz. Alfred had introduced me to them back when they first came out. It was different for the music I normally listened to but I liked it. Actually, I like English music. Maybe even more so that Italian music.

Ah. I shouldn't be getting lost in thought while driving.

...

After driving for a while, I found myself pulling into Alfred's drive way. His house was pretty small. Not what you'd expect from him. It was only one story and almost like a log cabin. Al always liked houses like that. You know, houses with a natural feel towards them. He says they always make him feel comfortable and safe. I walked up to his front door and unlocked the door using the key he had given me. Yes, we have the keys to each other's' houses. I pushed the door open and stepped inside. I removed my shoes and placed them on the rack right by the door. Alfred hated when people wore shoes inside the house. I hung up my jacket in the coat closet and proceeded forward.

"Al?" I called out. I heard a feint voice call out to me from the living room.

"In here," he called back. I followed the voice and saw Al on the floor in front of his fireplace. It was always so cozy and warm whenever I came over. I sat down on the floor next to him.

"What happened today? Usually you don't let it get to you," I said softly, pulling my knees into my chest and leaning my head on them sideways. He let out a sigh and looked up at the ceiling, resting his arms on his knees.

"I don't know; I've just been down lately. It just seems everything it wrong. It feels like I shouldn't be here but I don't want to go anyway, Lovi," he frowned, his eyebrows creasing. I hated seeing him like that. Knowing that my friend was in pain and I haven't done anything yet pained me. I did the only thing I could do and reached over. I pulled him into a hug, burying my face into his neck.

"You don't have to disappear," I said softly. "And you shouldn't keep everything bottled up to yourself. You taught me that. Please Al, please whenever you're sad tell me what's wrong and I'll listen...

 _Because I'm you friend and I care about you…"_

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 **A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long! I was really busy and then I didn't have any motivation. I've read my previous chapter and noticed the amount of typos my lord. I'll fix that soon so don't worry! If you find any typos at all, please tell me in the reviews.**


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